#60: What to Do When They Say No: Rejection as Protection and Redirection for Jewelers

In Episode 60 of 'The Jeweler's View,' Courtney Gray delves into the universal experience of rejection within the creative industry. Drawing from her own journey, she emphasizes that rejection is often a form of protection and redirection, rather than a personal failure. Gray offers practical steps to emotionally and strategically manage rejection, encouraging artists to reframe setbacks as opportunities for growth. She stresses that rejection teaches valuable lessons in resilience, alignment, and professional boundaries, ultimately paving the way for the right opportunities. The episode concludes with actionable tasks to help artists turn rejection into constructive movement, along with an invitation to seek deeper support through her Transform course and coaching services.

Transcript

60: What to Do When They Say No: Rejection as Protection and Redirection for Jewelers

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Welcome to The Jeweler's View. I'm Courtney Gray, metalsmith educator and creative business strategist. After 25 years in the jewelry industry, running one of the country's top metalsmithing schools, coaching artists, advising companies and organizations, and hosting interviews with some of the best in the craft.

I finally created the kind of support I wish I'd had from the start. This podcast is a part of that. Each week I share the lessons I had to learn the hard way so you can build a rhythm that supports your creative work, your values, and the life and business you actually want. Find tools, coaching and my transform course@courtneygrayarts.com and let's get to work.

Courtney Gray: Hey friend, it's Courtney. Welcome to, guess what, episode Number [00:01:00] 60. That's right. 60 episodes. I'm proud of myself and I'm proud of you for being here with me right now. Thanks for showing up.

Thanks for listening and I hope this is helpful. If you haven't yet, I want you to shoot me an email, hi at Courtney Gray Arts, and tell me what your favorite episode is. If you're just joining me, think about that for the future. I wanna hear from you. I'm here because of you, or you can DM me on Instagram @ Courtneygrayarts. Okay. Today we're talking about the one thing that nobody wants, but everybody gets at some point, rejection. The gallery? No, the shop that ghosts you. The show that passes on your application. The customer who disappears after a custom consult. Or the email that starts with. Unfortunately, if you're building a creative business, I'm here to tell you rejection is part of the path, but [00:02:00] today I want to help you to see it differently, not as a door slammed in your face, but as protection and redirection.

Protection and redirection. Now, if you missed episode 59 on approaching galleries and retailers. Go catch that next. These two episodes speak really well to each other. Let's get into this. Rejection is not personal. It's placement. Here's what I want you to understand. At a cellular level, most of the time when a gallery says not a fit, it means wrong timing, wrong season, wrong price point.

They already carry someone else in your style family, they're full, they're overwhelmed, or they're simply not your people. This has nothing to do with your worth, your talent, or your [00:03:00] identity. This has nothing to do with your worth, talent, or identity. It's placement. It's not a verdict. Creative minds love to interpret rejection as I'm not good enough, when really it's almost never about that.

This is where I wanna bring in something from my own journey. Something that at the time felt devastating. But now I look back and think, thank God a gallery I was in years ago, and this was a nice gallery. I was happy to be a part of it. They had my gold pieces. I think I was the only one with gold in the entire gallery.

They had them hanging right in the front window, beautiful placement. I mean, you couldn't ask for better representation. Great visibility. I was proud of it. They didn't put the work away at night. I probably would have changed that after working at a fine jewelry store. [00:04:00] And then one night, of course there was a break in, and guess what?

The thieves took just my work, nothing else, and I'm sure they just took it and melted it down for scrap. That sucked. Gold is expensive to replace right now as we know. The materials alone would cost double or triple what they cost When I first made the work, not to mention the labor, the energy, the emotional loss, but the worst part wasn't the theft.

I could get past that. It was the gallery's reaction. They didn't wanna pay me full price. They did not want to file an insurance claim for fear that their rates would go up.

They wanted to settle for less on stolen work. Now I had to push back firmly. Eventually, they paid me in full, but then they asked me to leave the gallery. They would not represent me anymore. [00:05:00] They were very cold about it. At the time, it felt like a gut punch. It was like, man, I really wanted to be in this gallery.

Bummer. But looking back, do I really want to work with management like that? Absolutely not. That no or invitation to leave was protection. It saved me from future conflict, future loss, future mismanagement, future resentment. That experience taught me something huge. Sometimes the rejection is clearing the path for you sometimes the door closes so you don't walk into the wrong room.

I'm gonna say this part again. Sometimes the rejection is clearing the path for you. This isn't always apparent at first. It always comes from hindsight. Now let's talk about rejection as redirection. This is the [00:06:00] deeper layer, the emotional one. When I sold my school creative side, the stories that went around were not true. People who I had employed for years, people who had been in my home, eaten at my table, stayed with my kids, started talking about me publicly, and not kindly.

It was confusing and it hurt in a way that sat in my bones for a long time and, before anyone else says it. I know what you're thinking. Yes. Some of that was projection, fear and misunderstanding, but when you're in it, when you're the one receiving it, you don't see any of that very clearly.

You just feel the burn, the rejection, and it triggers the abandonment trauma that many of us have. And then after a long period of sitting with it, I had to zoom out and ask myself, why is this happening? What came through eventually was this. [00:07:00] This is removal, this is redirection. This is the universe clearing the space.

I call this the universal flush. These people don't have room for me anymore, and I don't have room for them in the moment. I accepted that everything started to shift.

I had to look at the thousands of students I'd served over the years and stop focusing on the 11 people talking shit and move forward despite that negativity. That is redirection, that is clarity, that is alignment. That is perseverance. And if you're in a moment like that with a gallery, a client, maybe a friend, a peer, I want you to hear me.

Rejection is not the full story. It's an invitation to the next chapter. It's part of the process. As they say, close one door, another one [00:08:00] opens. So what do you do emotionally when they say no? Here's the simple emotional protocol. Step one, feel it. Feel it. You're human. Let the sting be the sting. Step two, don't assign meaning.

Don't turn. Not a fit or no, not right now, into I'm a failure. Step three, ground in facts. Ground in the facts what is true and what is not true. Step four, thank them and move on. You don't have to hang on to a no. So here's what we can do practically after a no. Let's get actionable A. If it feels appropriate, ask one simple question. Thank you for letting me know if you're comfortable sharing. Is there anything that would help me better understand what your clients are looking for right now?[00:09:00]

This is not phishing for approval or validation. It's gathering data. B, I want you to update your gallery list and tag them with a try again next season. No alignment. Great gallery, but wrong fit. Absolutely not if it's a no and maybe later. C. Redirect this energy. This is the practice part. Go ahead with this energy of a rejection. Send your work to another gallery, a boutique, an online retailer, or a new contact channel, disappointment into action.

Lastly, DI want you to reflect on alignment. Ask yourself, was this really my place or was I chasing validation? That question honestly will save you years. And remember this, as hard as it is, rejection builds [00:10:00] capacity every No teaches you something. It teaches you resilience, clarity, discernment, alignment, professional boundaries, and emotional maturity. It builds a different kind of steadiness and professionalism. Not loud bravado, but grounded presence. The kind that says, I know who I am, I know what I make, I know where I'm going. If you're not for me, that's okay. That's the kind of inner strength that actually sustains a creative career.

Your action step this week. Are you ready? Choose one, rejection, large or small that you've experienced maybe from this last year, and do one thing. Reframe it. Write down what it taught you. Identify the misalignment that uncovered itself. Update your list with these notes, [00:11:00] or redirect your energy somewhere new.

One small piece of clarity can dissolve months of self-doubt. So just begin. And remember, your work will not be for everyone. Your price point not for everyone. Your path will not be for everyone, and that's the beauty of being an artist. You're not here to please the masses. You're here to find your people.

Sometimes a no protects you. Sometimes a no redirects you and sometimes a no clears the path. So the right yes can finally land. Now, if you want deeper support with this work, the practical steps, the mindset shifts and the emotional resilience that keeps you steady, this is what we do inside transform inside my membership circle, and of course in my coaching.[00:12:00]

Next week we're talking about consistency and how to stay in motion when you're building a business all on your own. Thanks for being here. I believe in you. Go get some nos, because every no is gonna lead to a yes. Thanks for doing the brave work. Keep showing up onward and upward. 

Thanks for listening to The Jeweler's View. If today's episode gave you something to think about, consider sending it to a friend or share it on social and tag me at Courtney Gray Arts. You'll find tools, coaching resources, and the transform course@courtneygrayarts.com. And if no one's told you this lately, remember you're not behind.

You're becoming exactly the kind of maker your business needs and that kind of depth. It takes time. I'll be back next week, same time, same tough love, onward and upward. [00:13:00] I.

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