#47 Choosing Your Hard: Embracing Entrepreneurial Growth

Overcoming Scarcity Mindset and Embracing Abundance with Brianna Zeena

In this episode of 'The Jeweler's View,' hosted by Courtney Gray, metalsmith educator and creative business strategist with 25 years in the jewelry industry, the focus is on shifting from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance. Courtney continues her discussion with Brianna Zeena, a business coach in the permanent jewelry space. They explore the importance of overcoming negative self-talk and comparisonitis, the significant impact of a supportive community, and the crucial difference between a victim and victor mentality in business. Brianna shares her personal journey from being in debt to achieving financial success and emphasizes the importance of resilience and seizing opportunities. The episode encourages listeners to take control of their narratives and pursue their dreams with perseverance, positivity, and an abundance mindset.

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00:00 Introduction to The Jeweler's View
00:51 Recap of Last Week's Episode
01:23 Diving into Money Mindset and Scarcity
02:36 Shifting from Scarcity to Abundance
05:06 The Power of Social Proof
07:28 Emails from Listeners
12:58 Victim vs. Victor Mentality
20:22 Starting the Day with Energy
20:38 Assessing Your Energy Levels
21:23 Facing Life's Challenges
22:00 Overcoming Excuses
22:22 Building a Business Against the Odds
24:11 The Importance of Resilience
26:13 Balancing Work and Personal Life
30:25 The Power of Words and Manifestation
32:00 Embracing Vulnerability
34:30 Navigating Life's Journey
35:34 Final Thoughts and Farewell

Transcript

Episode #47 Choosing Your Hard: Embracing Entrepreneurial Growth

[00:00:00] Welcome to The Jeweler's View. I'm Courtney Gray, metalsmith educator and creative business strategist. After 25 years in the jewelry industry, running one of the country's top metalsmithing schools, coaching artists, advising companies and organizations, and hosting interviews with some of the best in the craft.

I finally created the kind of support I wish I'd had from the start. This podcast is a part of that. Each week I share the lessons I had to learn the hard way so you can build a rhythm that supports your creative work, your values, and the life and business you actually want. Find tools, coaching and my transform course@courtneygrayarts.com and let's get to work.

Courtney Gray: back you guys. Last week I introduced you to Brianna Zeena. in the permanent jewelry space, a business coach, [00:01:00] and truly just an amazing woman. We talked about collaboration, confidence and everything from high school to journeys in business.

And to her belief that collaboration, which aligns with mine completely always starts with the other person's win. conversation was rich and I knew we had to keep going. Probably could start our own show at this point. So today we're gonna dive deeper into two areas that every maker wrestles with.

This seems to be coming up a lot, for some reason, money, mindset, meaningful connections, and really what I wanna dig into today with Bri is scarcity, this idea of not enough. So we're gonna talk about shifting from scarcity to abundance. The difference between being a victim and a victor in business and why Bri believes that every person is a door to something amazing. Thanks for taking the time with us today.

Brianna Zenna: Oh, thank you so much for having me. It's always a pleasure to talk with you [00:02:00] and like I mentioned before, it's like talking into a mirror, talking to myself because we have so much in common and so many of the same views. And I just, I love your brain.

Courtney Gray: Oh, I love your brain. I love that you said I love your brain. That's something I would totally, we are Okay. This is good. You're like the 10 year ago version of me, but rocking it way harder at what? 30

Courtney Gray: making me feel old. Usually I'm the young one in the crowd, but

Brianna Zenna: No, don't you worry. Age is nothing but a number.

Courtney Gray: That's right. And a little wisdom sprinkled on top. We'll take some seasoning any day.

Brianna Zenna: Perfect.

Courtney Gray: Yeah. So you and I know both know that mindset around money is a big part of business and it can either hold people back or it can help them move forward. I know I struggle with this one still.

I probably always will. What do you notice most when it comes to scarcity thinking? And we don't have to keep this just on money. I think this is a broader picture of

Brianna Zenna: I think it, it starts with [00:03:00] limiting yourself because when we talk about scarcity, when we talk about money or we talk about time, or we talk about value it puts us into a perspective. And a mental space of restriction, of stopping ourselves. Might have shared this at PJX, but I'm very comfortable talking about it.

Before I started my permanent jewelry business, I was $30,000 in credit card debt and I. Knew in me that I wanted to do this, that this was something that, it was a journey that I really wanted to pursue. And I said, screw it. What's another $5,000 on my credit card? . And I decided to launch my business because I had nothing more to lose.

And money can always be made, but it felt like it was time.

Courtney Gray: Yeah.

Brianna Zenna: and so when I think back about. The risk that I took to now being completely debt free to owning my car outright, to, being [00:04:00] close to paying off our mortgage, to having these fabulous things that life has brought me because of the risks that I have taken, , changes my whole outlook on.

Scarcity thinking, because again, I relate a lot of things to the beauty industry. You could be so nervous because you are doing the same services as other people are doing. Or in the permanent jewelry world, we're all doing bracelets, but there's enough. To go around. There's enough customers to go around.

There's enough products, enough vendor events, enough manufacturers for us all to be so different. And when we start to limit ourselves and get into that mindset of let me protect what I, the little I have, instead of taking that little I have and sharing it and watching everybody grow. When we talk about everybody we could talk about ourselves as everybody, but different directions that we're taking, in our financials, in our friendship groups, in our business [00:05:00] life.

And feeding, again, back to that nurturing conversation that we had last time.

Courtney Gray: Yes, I know this is one of the things I try to drive through to my students about comparisonitis because this is what happens. We have a dream, and we start looking at other people who are doing, who are accomplishing that, and what ha what can happen there if you're not careful is. Comparisonitis, which I love this word

Brianna Zenna: Absolutely.

Courtney Gray: in your face all the time. Other people's perceived success, right? And then we can sink into this scarcity. I'll never be able to do that. I can't do it. They're already doing it. And I'm trying to flip that script a little bit and say instead, wait a second, look what they did.

Oh, I know I can do that. Because they're proof. That it's doable. And so

Brianna Zenna: Absolutely.

Courtney Gray: as social proof instead of a, there's not enough room for me, right?

Brianna Zenna: and I start to notice if you find yourself getting into that mind space a lot, get off social media

It is so easy [00:06:00] to compare ourselves to what they have or what we have. Or why am I not good enough for this, or why can't I have that? Social media again, is just a perception. And having that scarcity mindset is a perception.

So when you feel like you're in that spot where you're drowning, I think it's really important to , pull away, reset, refocus, rebalance. Because we are human, we are designed to be negative thinkers, biologically, scientifically, it's how we survive for hundreds of thousands of years. If we've even been around that long, I don't know.

Courtney Gray: but

Brianna Zenna: Yeah.

Courtney Gray: What is that? Why do we have to have the negative? 

Brianna Zenna: Just to protect ourselves.

Courtney Gray: Yeah.

Brianna Zenna: Like when you're, you are watching your, you have boys. So when you're watching your boys play when they were little, you're like, because you're protecting them.

And that's the way that you've kept them alive. That's the way that you've been designed to operate.

And that's right, and [00:07:00] sometimes it's very important to remind ourselves, okay, I'm having a moment. My brain is designed to feel this way and be this way, but let me know that's the way my brain's supposed to work. Let me pull back into this reality a little bit.

Courtney Gray: right.

Brianna Zenna: Let me switch from the negative thinking to the positive thinking.

Because we have that control, we have that freedom to be able to do 

Courtney Gray: Yeah. We get to choose how we react, right?

Brianna Zenna: Definitely

Courtney Gray: sometimes hard in the moment to remember. Okay. I have to sidetrack for a second. 'cause last week we talked a little bit about these emails and the love that we get sometimes for the way that we serve and the way that we're showing up.

Brianna Zenna: right.

Courtney Gray: I'm like, let's love on Courtney for a minute,

Brianna Zenna: Please.

Courtney Gray: this just moved me and I feel like we should share it. So I wanna read this to you. And I always say on the show, I'm like, Hey, email me. I wanna hear from you. I, otherwise, I'm talking to my computer screen and I feel like what is, who's out there

I'd like to know where you're at and what's going on, and so I can [00:08:00] continue to speak to the needs of everybody, okay.

Brianna Zenna: Feedback is good.

Courtney Gray: Yeah. And I can try to sink in and I think I do an okay job at that, but I'd rather hear what are the struggles? What are you going through? And how can we navigate that together? That's what the jewelers View is for, she said, I wanna thank you for offering your story on your podcast.

It has resonated deeply with me, and it feels like you're speaking right to me, guiding me while I'm at a crossroad in my life. I'm in the middle of fighting for a nonprofit visual art center. My husband and I lovingly gave our heart and soul to for the last 15 years, which I can totally relate to. Our kindness and desire to share with all has been mistaken for weakness, I don't remember how the world conspired to direct me to you, but I feel so blessed to have found you. Your podcast, hearing your story was the reset I needed. to every episode and I'm ready for the good fight. We are also ready to focus time on our jewelry creations to compensate for the [00:09:00] lack of salary at the art center or to fall back on she goes on, I just got back from leading artists at a painting retreat in and I walked

Brianna Zenna: How cool.

Courtney Gray: that struck me. It was a rock sitting solidly in the ground with a sage brush bending gently over it. It made me pause. I've been the sage for 15 years. Was it time for me to be the rock? My hubby and I have decided yes, we must be the rock and stand our ground. Heard what you said that if we fail, we won't be starting over. We'll just be starting from here. again, thank you for putting yourself out there and telling your story.

You're making a difference with Love like who gets emails like this, right?

Brianna Zenna: beautiful. That is 

Courtney Gray: with you.

Brianna Zenna: I prolific almost, the fact that she can resonate so closely with you and you're giving her the strength to stick up for herself, which

Courtney Gray: yeah.

Brianna Zenna: even you sharing with me, makes me feel so much [00:10:00] softer because it's very easy to mistake one's kindness for weakness.

Courtney Gray: Yeah, and it's not easy . When you're spearheading something so intensely and it feels important and and things do move around and things change I think the main thing too is, we're not starting over. We're starting from here. And you have so much already behind you, right?

Brianna Zenna: Yes.

Courtney Gray: you're taking into the next and into the next. And I know for you, Bri, you've been through so many businesses already and you're not even 30. And I know there's dreams of of a bakery, dare I say, in the future.

Brianna Zenna: Maybe I'm gonna move. I'm gonna move to the middle of the country. I'm gonna come visit you in Texas. 

It's the retirement dream. I've always wanted, I've always wanted like a donut shop, coffee shop, bakery, just something.

Courtney Gray: just come over and eat your donuts? Okay.

Brianna Zenna: Yep. Yep.

Courtney Gray: my retirement plan.

Brianna Zenna: Perfect. I'll make just a perfect booth for us and a little podcast [00:11:00] station in the back.

Courtney Gray: I love

Brianna Zenna: It'll fit and yeah, everything will be perfect

Courtney Gray: She just made me

yes, being the rock, right? And not the sage.

Not just like letting things push you around so much, but. Staying centered in your direction and staying centered in, here's my dream and I'm doing it,

Brianna Zenna: Right,

Courtney Gray: the boats and saying there's no way back like this. This isn't an option.

Brianna Zenna: which.

Courtney Gray: within that have to move and change,

Brianna Zenna: Which I also appreciate. She's not she's not taking no for an answer, but she's also accepting that what's meant to be will be by setting herself up for things that are out of her control. Because even God forbid that she loses the art studio, now she's building this fabulous foundation for herself with the jewelry, so she can have an income, so she can have that foundation for her husband and her.

Courtney Gray: There's always the next, and I think, things in the moment can feel like the end of the world, especially when they have been so important to you.

And hindsight's the only opportunity you really get to [00:12:00] see. How important the shift was. 

Brianna Zenna: Right. We can't control what happens to us.

Courtney Gray: yeah.

Brianna Zenna: only control how, what comes out of it.

Courtney Gray: I really wanna control what happens to us, Bri.

Brianna Zenna: Me too, but I broke my magic ball just as I knocked over the mirror , seven years ago that I'm still getting bad luck from.

Courtney Gray: Oh no.

Brianna Zenna: And it's just one of those things that happen. We can wish, we could pray, we could hope, whatever spiritual, whatever faith that you do have, but when we learn to let that control go, things get a little easier to accept.

Courtney Gray: They do and they're gonna move anyway. They're gonna change anyway. Because most things are out of our control,

Brianna Zenna: Right

Courtney Gray: we have to learn how to roll with it.

Brianna Zenna: where?

Courtney Gray: wave. I

Brianna Zenna: I was gonna say where like little fishes wiggling through the ocean. Just going with the current

Courtney Gray: Try not to try to swim upstream.

Brianna Zenna: No. And trying to avoid all the sharks,

Courtney Gray: Yeah, that's the big

Brianna Zenna: or we're gonna grow big enough to be the sharks. 

Courtney Gray: And then look out.

Look out. Okay. So you've talked about like [00:13:00] the victim versus the victor. Can we dig into this a little bit?

Brianna Zenna: I think, the way, again, back to that perspective, I was listening to very back and forth conversation with friends when I was younger, and I found myself saying, oh, that sucks. Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, I can't believe you were going through that. Wow. What a jerk. Oh, that person's attacking you too.

Oh, that one's after you as well. And I was like. But I feel like so much negative is coming out of my mouth, right? Like it is so easy to be focused on that victim of mentality. Again, the same way that we're focused and programmed to be that negative when we change it and have that victim mentality of, yes, we've went through verbal abuse, physical abuse, yes, we've gone through different things.

Whatever has happened to you in your life? We have the control of how we wanna make it. I could sit here and be feeling sorry for myself because I grew up with a single [00:14:00] mother who. Worked a lot and had, different priorities and different focuses. She did a fabulous job and the best that she could raising her kids, but she was also a single mother trying to make ends meet and stressed out like the rest of us.

We could sit here and focus on all of the negatives, but instead. I am gonna sit here and focus on the positives of how hard she worked and how badass of an entrepreneur that she was and still is that she wants to be that best version of herself, that best person. We could sit here and feel sorry for herself, that we lost our job during COVID and got laid off.

Or we could say, all right, I'm gonna take this time to reinvent myself and launch forward. It's so easy to get caught up in that victim mentality because we're programmed to be negative. But it's very important to understand that you can be the victor of making your own destiny. I believe that, some of our pages are written before.

We're here, but it's just like our [00:15:00] DNA. My sister and I could be born with very similar DNA, but the activities that we do in life trigger certain DNA to be more reactive than others, right? So say I had a twin and I can clone myself, my twin smokes every day, drinks every day, eats like crap, doesn't work out.

They're gonna be a lot different than I am, even though we were dealt the same DNA cards, right? So I picture it a lot like life. We are going to activate what DNA or what good traits that we want to carry on or we want to instill in our life down from morning routine to doing things that we don't want to do.

To picking our hard, I could be outta shape and I can't run a mile, and that's my struggle. Or I could sweat my ass off and push through that mile and pick that as my struggle. Gonna struggle no matter [00:16:00] what. It's gonna be hard, but choose your hard.

Courtney Gray: I like that. Choose your hard

Brianna Zenna: Yes.

Courtney Gray: how it looks like. We get to decide how it looks to us.

Brianna Zenna: Yes.

Courtney Gray: Yeah. So is there a daily, like how do you reset daily? Do you have a. A little mantra in the morning or a meditation practice.

Brianna Zenna: I think it's who you surround yourself with. I can't say it enough. I married the man of my dreams and he gives me everything plus more. We are constantly filling one another's cup. He gives me strength, he gives me grace, he gives me courage and having a teammate. Like that, having a partner that I don't rely on him for my identity, but I do rely on him to be that strong when I'm weak or to be that.

Filling that I need and vice versa, we're there to pick up each other's slack because it's not always gonna be, a hundred percent. Sometimes it's 50 50, sometimes [00:17:00] it's 60 40. But I think when you have good people in your corner and you find your crew and you learn how to regulate yourself, I used to be very reactive and I can say that.

With Grace because I'm proud of the person I am today, the woman I've become. Even when I think back about high school or about me in my early twenties, that was the version of Brianna that you knew. You don't really necessarily know this version of Brena. It's a totally different person, so mantras and.

All sound great, but my attention span is too short, so I can't remember if it's not on a post-it written somewhere where I can see it. I'm not gonna remember it. But I am going to remember what my core values are and the person that I wanna continue to be,

Courtney Gray: Yeah. What did I just read? Strive towards that. Instead of the things like that you might regret or [00:18:00] wish didn't have, whatever, all the

Brianna Zenna: right.

Courtney Gray: The past, the stuff, it's like instead of focusing on that, we focus on who are we becoming and

Brianna Zenna: Absolutely.

Courtney Gray: Always that forward

Brianna Zenna: so easy to get caught up in your past. It's so easy to have somebody hold you back because of a version of yourself that you once were. You no longer have to be that person. And that is the greatest gift that I think I can sum it up to God giving us is the free will. Of choosing and making those decisions of what we want to be, who we want to be, what we wanna do, how we wanna portray ourselves.

Because again, the version that I was 10 years ago compared to the version of myself that I am today is almost unrecognizable. I'm sure that we're gonna have the same conversation in another 10 years.

Courtney Gray: We're gonna, we're gonna put it on the calendar now. Yeah.

Brianna Zenna: But, and that's the most blessed thing about being human. We can screw up, we can make errors, but we have the opportunity to keep reinventing [00:19:00] ourselves,

Courtney Gray: and literally every day it's okay yesterday was not a great day i'm trying not to latch onto like the whole day is bad. When there's a bad event. 

Brianna Zenna: Have you ever heard the quote of how it compares to money? So if there's like something like 80 million seconds in a day, right? If you had $80 million in your bank account and somebody stole 10 of those dollars, are you going to be upset about it? There's 80 million seconds in the day.

And if somebody stole those 10 seconds from you, yeah, it sucks. Yeah, that's crappy. But you know what, we've got 79 million, 900,000 still to make our own.

Courtney Gray: Yes.

Brianna Zenna: I always think about that too. And it's a little blip, i'm gonna shake it off. I'm gonna breathe through it and then we're gonna keep on keeping on.

Courtney Gray: . Oh, I love that. I'm gonna have to sit with that one. Yes. I was thinking you were gonna tell me the one where you, have you heard this one? We should just trade. It's like

Brianna Zenna: Gimme your one liner. I'll give you mine.

Courtney Gray: coaching [00:20:00] technique and I'll give you my, yeah, but it's oh. I had this in a leadership class once and she literally handed us a hundred dollars bill, and said, okay, so you start. Your day with a stack of these on your nightstand. She took it back later. By the way, we didn't get to keep the a hundred dollars

Brianna Zenna: Darn.

Courtney Gray: but just thought I, that's an important part of

Brianna Zenna: It's a lot of ice cream right there.

Courtney Gray: I know, right? And donuts. I love it. Yeah. But okay, so you start the day with a hun, a stack of hundred dollars bills and literally. Throughout the day, you're walking around with a stack and you're handing everybody that you interact with and everything that you choose, the people you choose to surround yourself with the energy, right? All of it, you're handing one over, and so at the end of the day, we have to look at our stack. Do we have enough? Basically assess how much do we have left? And and when you have family, and I know you're headed into that world, Bri, that becomes crucial because you have to have something left. You have to

Brianna Zenna: Yes.

Courtney Gray: a stack for yourself [00:21:00] and for the next day, so you can rejuvenate and start over. But I thought that was so important. It's oh, where are we giving our energy? And where are we? What'd you say? Choosing the hard We get to

Brianna Zenna: Yeah.

Courtney Gray: Yeah. Where are we

Brianna Zenna: Yeah,

Courtney Gray: All of that. All those little a hundred dollars bills. 'cause at the end of the day, you're broke, 

Brianna Zenna: right.

Courtney Gray: Careful.

Brianna Zenna: Straight. Your cup is empty.

Yeah, that's important.

Courtney Gray: difficult when crisis hits, when life brings change. I get emails again. I got another one. The studio closed during COVID and she hasn't been able to get her feet back under her, and that was a while ago. Now, like that's a long time to

Brianna Zenna: Five years,

Courtney Gray: Yeah.

And I, I just, I feel my heart goes out to those situations, and I think the more we can shift our mindset towards this abundance, the idea of things are flowing to me, I'm gonna take action to make that happen. I'm gonna do something every day.

Brianna Zenna: And I'm not gonna get in my own way.

Courtney Gray: Let's talk [00:22:00] about

Brianna Zenna: Yeah. Because it's so easy for, I can't do this. I have my kids recital. Oh, I can't do this. I just worked a 12 hour day. Oh, I can't do this. I'm tired. I don't wanna go to the gym tomorrow. I didn't get any sleep tonight. I. That's something we all can relate to.

Courtney Gray: Excuse,

Brianna Zenna: healthy, I wanna go through the drive-through because it's convenient, right? Convenience sometimes kills us. And I always joke that the reason that I started the permanent jewelry was I would work my nine to five. Come home, cook dinner, grab a bottle of wine, and then work my five to nine drunk and you're like drunk.

Yes. I drank like three or four glasses of wine a night building my website, three or four glasses of wine a night for a couple weeks straight, launching all of my wholesale and my business practices. Of course, I revised them when I was a little more sober, but it was like, I wasn't gonna let myself get in the way, and even if I needed that glass to just relax and [00:23:00] be like, all right, let me launch this through.

Because yeah, I was coming home and tired, but at the time I was just opening up my own permanent makeup studio, but I was still doing one of the many hats, medical waste sales. So I was working, during COVID doing medical waste sales for a company in Lakewood, New Jersey. It was something that I was totally unfamiliar with.

So I would work that my nine to five, then I would go and tattoo for a couple of hours 'cause I had just opened the studio and then I would go home to work on my website and take pictures of the jewelry and call people to try to get. Parties booked and launched something that I had no idea what I was doing, but I was doing it.

I was learning along the way, and there was so many excuses that I had. I wanted to go out with my, I'm , 24, 25, starting this permanent jewelry business. I wanted to go out with my friends. I wanted to go, to the beach. I wanted to hang out and party. I didn't want to sit behind my [00:24:00] computer for 12, 14 hours a day, but the two years that I.

Spent committed to myself has now made my later twenties the dream life I've always wanted to live

Courtney Gray: Interesting.

Brianna Zenna: That abundance, and it's like a small restriction or a small time of stopping to make excuses sometimes. The people I hold dearest to me, I don't let them make excuses and it could come off a little cold or harsh, but if somebody is telling me I just, I can't do this today.

I just have da, you're valid. I understand, but you understand that's an excuse you're making. But again, you're allowed to feel this way. Take your time, take that moment. But let's recognize it's an excuse

And I mean it with love because of.

Courtney Gray: what's the difference between a reason and an excuse? Because I do think there are obligations, right?

Brianna Zenna: obligations. I would say an excuse is finding something repetitive. Like having the same excuse not wanting to go to the gym every day because you're [00:25:00] tired. Where a reason would be maybe a medical deficiency or maybe, a lack of gas in your car.

There's a lot of reasons that are valid, but there's a lot of times that excuses are covered as reasons.

Courtney Gray: And we validate them

Brianna Zenna: but we're allowed on the other hand of that to have those bad days.

But just remind yourself that you are the one getting in your way. Because nobody's gonna do this for us.

Courtney Gray: No, and I hate to tell you, this isn't easy.

It's like motherhood. It's not for the weak of mind or heart

Brianna Zenna: And there's no book.

Courtney Gray: There is no freaking book. There's a lot of books, but they're not gonna tell you anything about the reality here,

Brianna Zenna: Right.

Courtney Gray: Because each journey is different.

Each ENT entrepreneur is going to approach it differently. You're going to have your own hurdles, your own lessons, and some of them will come out of nowhere

Be part of . The abundance actually,

Brianna Zenna: Right.

Courtney Gray: at the end of the day, we have to look back at those. Those are the lessons. Those are the little many [00:26:00] experiences that add up to you being the badass that you become.

Brianna Zenna: And.

Courtney Gray: without them, you don't get there.

Brianna Zenna: No.

Courtney Gray: without the struggle, 

Brianna Zenna: and lessening the excuses helps build your resilience. Now, I'm not saying you can't have a bad day. You are absolutely entitled to have a bad day. There's days that during my, starting of the business, I didn't do diddly squat for one or two, three days straight. That's okay. Take that time to reset 'cause you don't wanna burn out.

However, when you're back to it. Jump back in it because those excuses are gonna stop you in your tracks. The reasons for doing is what's gonna build that resilience, right? And again, it's very hard to draw that fine line , but if you find yourself creating the same reasons that could be actual excuses instead of those valid points of reasoning, I'm gonna take [00:27:00] the day off. Why? Because I deserve it. That's not an excuse. That's a damn good reason. 'cause you deserve it. But saying, I worked really hard today. Yes. And the grass is never greener. We're not gonna compare anybody to anybody, but we all work very hard.

So if you want this for yourself bad enough, you're gonna continue to work. Even harder, right? You're gonna build that resilience that you're like, I'm unstoppable. Even if it takes me a glass of wine, , I'm gonna still do it. I'm gonna still make sure that I'm watching out for me, and if I need to take those two or three days off in a row, so be it.

But when I'm hopped back into it, we're, nose to the stone, we're grinding it down.

Courtney Gray: Yeah, I do love that you compare it. It's like a muscle, this is a muscle that you're building to persevere through, to stay intrepid and to

Brianna Zenna: Right.

Courtney Gray: up no matter what. I remember when our house burned down about six years ago now, actually, just a few days ago was the anniversary, but [00:28:00] we lost everything.

Gone right in, like literally in the afternoon. Nobody was hurt.

Brianna Zenna: Thank God.

Courtney Gray: I know. Seriously, it could have been

Brianna Zenna: But still.

Courtney Gray: But but the reality check was, after the shock of it and just watching, like watching basically everything that we had built go away and burn up and smoke literally and get, 10,000 gallons of water dumped on it to put it out. My husband and I, just we had a day or two of shock. We had a gig that weekend or the next, I think it was like within a week we had a gig to play. All our equipment was smoked out. We were able to save a few things on the

Floor did the gig. We just what are you gonna do? The house is gone. We're in process with insurance to move to a new location.

Brianna Zenna: Right.

Courtney Gray: Our band had space at their, one of their houses to rehearse, and we went over and did that. There was something really that's the muscle. Like you keep going.

Brianna Zenna: It is the victim or victor mentality too. You gave your [00:29:00] self the grace period, and there's no time on whether that somebody might need a month or somebody that might need a week. Thank God that you and your family were safe and no animals were harmed,

Courtney Gray: Yeah.

Brianna Zenna: But you gave yourself that grace.

And you let yourself understand and heal, and you go through the motions and then you were like, all right. Lemme pick up and go, because I'm not gonna sit here and be bummed out about it for another couple of days. I'm gonna go do something I love to do that takes my mind out of it. That changes that perspective.

'cause this ash of this rubble is such a shit part of life.

Courtney Gray: Yeah.

Brianna Zenna: I'm gonna do something and create and build music and get people dancing and grooving, which is such a beautiful part of life.

And being able to perform.

Yeah.

Courtney Gray: And not saying don't grieve, there are periods for grief, but

Brianna Zenna: Yes.

Courtney Gray: to be said for standing up the next day and continuing forward. Otherwise, it's easy to slip into this scarcity mindset or this. Spiral

I can't, it's not working. All of the negatives, like you were saying [00:30:00] earlier, Bri , can become part of your language

Brianna Zenna: Yeah.

Courtney Gray: that self-talk part is so important. 

Brianna Zenna: Being nice to yourself, even sometimes where I'm like oh, that was stupid of me. That's okay to say, but I'm not gonna be like, oh, you big stupid idiot. I don't talk to myself negatively. I don't talk to the people around me. I'm not gonna be like that wasn't very smart of you.

And it's very easy, whether we're being sarcastic, which I am very sarcastic. We have to learn what comes out of ourselves. . Words are frequencies. And it's about the frequencies that we're accepting and what we're allowing into our lives, everything has a vibrational wave. You could feel that energy's undeniable, whether you're talking to people, whether you're in situations, whether you're in a damn haunted house or a church. The vibrations is, and the frequencies that you feel are there. And we have to remember the words that are coming out of our mouth and even the words that are in our head saying to our brain, the ones that other people can't hear, but we can still give off that frequency.

Courtney Gray: , And then that [00:31:00] attracts more of that, right? . Yeah. So be careful what you're saying out there. I know I have to. Oh, I was literally during, before the fire, I was sitting on the patio with my son

Brianna Zenna: Yeah.

Courtney Gray: something like. I'm not happy. Something needs to change and the smoke alarm went off inside the house.

Brianna Zenna: Holy cow.

Courtney Gray: I'm a little bit of a master manifester Bri, and you might learn this about me. So , they can happen quick or they can take time, but over time, these words, they do become things and they do become our reality. And scarcity and or abundance I think are the same thing.

And so imagining and envisioning what you want your life to look like, what do you want your business to look like?

Brianna Zenna: Definitely.

Courtney Gray: in a year, in six months, whatever that is, and writing it down, that's what we do in Transform the first week. We unlock that. What are you doing? Why are you in this in the first place?

And what do you want it to look like for you? Because I'm not gonna give you a framework for me that

Brianna Zenna: No.

Courtney Gray: sense. My life's very different from yours.

Brianna Zenna: Right and being vulnerable with [00:32:00] yourself.

Courtney Gray: yeah.

Brianna Zenna: Yeah, I think that's the, especially women entrepreneurs, we, especially being a woman entrepreneur in New York, New Jersey, I am conditioned to have this kind of stigma. It's almost having that witchy, bitchy you're not gonna mess with me attitude.

And I think that when that goes away and the curtain closes and we're home alone by ourselves with the people that we care about or comfortable with, it's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to understand that we are human as well. And we don't always have to have this. Mask on mask and when we know that we can take off that mask, be vulnerable with and true with ourself is when we're gonna get down to the nitty gritty of what we as individuals really need.

Courtney Gray: Get real with it.

Brianna Zenna: Got to.

Courtney Gray: real with it. Yeah. And then I think that starts bleeding out into our lives too. It's like, all right, take it or leave it, 

Brianna Zenna: we deserve better. You're gonna love me for what I am, or you're gonna hate me for what I'm [00:33:00] not here it is.

Courtney Gray: Yes. Uhhuh.

Brianna Zenna: It

Courtney Gray: and for me, it like the older I get, the more I'm like, you know what, I'm just gonna hit publish, and. Whatever may come. And guess what? You don't have to listen to it. You don't have to read it. The blog you don't have to participate in my orbit. I'm here for those who, you know, I wanna attract those people 

Brianna Zenna: right.

Courtney Gray: ready to do this deeper work, who are ready. Okay. Being vulnerable to step into the discomfort and the others. You can, it's okay if it's not the time for you or if I'm not the right person for you. That's

Brianna Zenna: You're gonna attract your vibe and that's all right. And remember back in elementary and middle school and high school where they were like, you don't like to li, you don't have to like everyone, but you have to get along well. You don't even have to get along. You can go your total opposite ways. You can move across the country, you can block them, you can not answer their calls.

It's okay.

Courtney Gray: Yes, we have more choice now. We don't have to sit next to in line with, walk single file behind the guy. Spitting on your, the

Yeah. You can [00:34:00] actually unfollow , we have a little bit more control. Oh,

Brianna Zenna: Yes.

Courtney Gray: Yeah. And it's how we look at it. And thanks for the reminder, because it's a rollercoaster ride, right? Like we can say that this is consistent throughout our whole experience. No, I'm not gonna lie and say this is something that I do every day and that is perfect. No.

Actually it's, this is part of the journey. Part of the process is you have to balance the negative in

Brianna Zenna: Right.

Courtney Gray: and become aware of both and be, I don't know, less resistant to the

Brianna Zenna: The only thing that's gonna be consistent is the chaos, and that's the way that you're gonna navigate it. And I love the fact that you used the word journey, because that's exactly what it is. Everyone's journey is gonna look different. Everyone's journey is not going to be the same as yours, but it is going to be the journey that you make it, whether you decide to have that perspective of victim or victor.

Courtney Gray: Yes, all right. You guys have the power to decide. What this looks like. [00:35:00] And if you're having a struggle with that, try something different. I love Bri's advice, just shake it up, talk to somebody new

See what's working for somebody else. If you're researching and turn the social media off, don't compare. Put your blinders on, do your thing. Move

Brianna Zenna: right.

Courtney Gray: every day, just one step at a time with breaks where needed. No excuses. I

Brianna Zenna: Yes, treat it like an ex-boyfriend. You don't know what you're looking for in your next relationship, but you know Damn right, what you're not going back to.

Courtney Gray: Exactly.

Brianna Zenna: Exactly. Yes. Yes

Courtney Gray: Each one is a lesson. Oh, Bri, I could talk to you all day, but I know you have other fish to fry literally tonight. Yes.

Brianna Zenna: I am. I'm gonna make some lobster for my mother-in-law's birthday.

Courtney Gray: I love it. Lobster. Anybody? Lobster? Yes.

Brianna Zenna: Shore Summers.

Courtney Gray: Let's have you back. I feel like there's so much more to do here and I'm glad I crossed your path.

Brianna Zenna: I would be honored. It's been a pleasure, Courtney. I love everything you have to say. I wish you the best of luck [00:36:00] in your business. I can't wait for your class to come out in a couple of weeks and just dive into personal growth and perseverance.

Courtney Gray: That's what we're here to do. All right, I will talk to you soon, Bri, onward and upward. Thanks again. 

Thanks for listening to The Jeweler's View. If today's episode gave you something to think about, consider sending it to a friend or share it on social and tag me at Courtney Gray Arts. You'll find tools, coaching resources, and the transform course@courtneygrayarts.com. And if no one's told you this lately, remember you're not behind.

You're becoming exactly the kind of maker your business needs and that kind of depth. It takes time. I'll be back next week, same time, same tough love, onward and upward. I. [00:37:00]