#42: The Gift of Struggle: Why Failure Shapes Us

 In this episode of The Jeweler's View, hosted by Courtney Gray, a seasoned metalsmith educator and creative business strategist, Courtney shares personal experiences and profound insights on the transformative power of struggle. Reflecting on her son's journey and her own professional challenges, she emphasizes that struggle is an inevitable part of life and business, not a sign of weakness. Instead of avoiding it, she encourages listeners to embrace and learn from their struggles, using them as raw material for growth, innovation, and resilience. Throughout the episode, Courtney highlights the importance of processing these experiences, whether through community support, mentorship, or personal reflection, and offers practical advice on how to navigate and extract meaning from difficult times. She also announces the upcoming session of her transformative course, inviting listeners to join her in this journey of learning and personal growth. 

Transcript

# Episode 42 – The Gift of Struggle: Why Failure Shapes Us

[00:00:00] Welcome to The Jeweler's View. I'm Courtney Gray, metalsmith educator and creative business strategist. After 25 years in the jewelry industry, running one of the country's top metalsmithing schools, coaching artists, advising companies and organizations, and hosting interviews with some of the best in the craft.

I finally created the kind of support I wish I'd had from the start. This podcast is a part of that. Each week I share the lessons I had to learn the hard way so you can build a rhythm that supports your creative work, your values, and the life and business you actually want. Find tools, coaching and my transform course@courtneygrayarts.com and let's get to work.

**Courtney Gray:** Hey there. Welcome back. I want to start today with something really close to home. My [00:01:00] youngest son has been struggling hard the last two years and not in small ways in huge. Becoming a man in this day and age ways, wrestling with peers with pressure with mental health and trying to figure out who he is, where he fits, and how to move in a body that is completely new to him. Let me tell you, this has been hard to watch, hard to hold space for and really hard to parent through.

This summer after some really big events, I've seen him start to regulate in some beautiful ways. He's been planting things in the dirt, listening to different kinds of music, skateboarding, and he's been baking a lot. pretty sure I've gained 10 pounds in pie alone and we need to take out a loan to cover the eggs, oil, and milk and other ingredients.

But then he did something that blew me away. He started a [00:02:00] T-shirt business. He's calling it empath clothing. The designs are powerful. I mean, he's got a signature touch on every single one. They have strong words and images paired in a way that makes you really stop and think they're positive and impactful.

And yes, my entire living room looks like a screen printing shop, but I'm not mad about it. I wouldn't mind it being a little cleaner. What I see is I see him learning to channel his struggle into something creative, something positive, and something impactful.

Here's what I noticed most. Every time something goes wrong, the ink doesn't transfer right, or a design fades in the wash. Or last night the dog jumped on one that was still wet. It was not pretty. His first and habitual instinct is to go to what I call the dark side, to sink, to get frustrated, to get angry, to shut down.[00:03:00] 

But I notice if he takes a breath or runs around in circles like I have before in the studio, if he pauses and then he looks again, something shifts, he'll notice a new pattern, a new texture. Or like a faded look that actually feels edgier and more original. This is what struggle does when we give it space.

It transforms it's reminded me, struggle isn't something to avoid. It's the raw material of growth. The truth is, we are going to struggle no matter what. If you're alive, you'll struggle at the bench in your business, in your family, in your health, and it's not because you're weak. It's not because you're behind or doing something wrong. It's because struggle is woven into the fabric of being human. We don't get to choose whether or not struggle shows up.

The only thing we get to choose is [00:04:00] what we take from it and how we respond. Here's the question that came up for me, and I've been asking myself this lately. If we struggle and we don't receive the lesson, was it worthy struggle? Because here's the thing, struggle by itself, it doesn't guarantee growth.

Struggle only becomes transformation if we pause. Reflect and extract the meaning. Worthy struggle is when we walk through something hard and come out sharper, wiser, and more resilient. Wasted struggle is when we go through the pain, but we refuse to look at it or we try to bury it. We repeat the same mistakes, the same habits, the same burnout, and listen, you know, I have done both.

Have wasted plenty of struggle times when I plowed ahead, ignored the lessons and ended up right back in the same ditch. But the times when I slowed down and asked, [00:05:00] what is this here to teach me? Those are the times that reshaped me. Those are the struggles that gave me something back that made it worthy.

When I was running the metalsmithing schools, there was a season where enrollment dropped, and this happened every year. If you're running a school, you get it. I remember looking at the numbers panicked, wondering sometimes if we'd even keep the lights on or if I could make payroll.

That was one of the scariest moments of my career, but the struggle forced me to innovate to get creative. To rethink how we operated. We added new classes, we partnered with new organizations, changed how we structured the business. And you know what? That season gave birth to some of the most impactful programs like the homeschooling program.

Now I've also struggled with a burnout. You've heard me talk about it before, pushing past exhaustion, [00:06:00] saying yes to everything, running so hard, I didn't even realize I was hurting myself. I've ended up sick.

I've ended up injured. I've ended up completely drained with like nothing left to give, but every one of those breakdowns forced me to reevaluate, to slow down, to protect my time and my energy. To observe how I work and operate best, and let's be real. Sometimes the hardest struggles are not the dramatic ones. They're the daily ones, the habits that we fall into, the stories we tell ourselves, and the way we structure or don't structure our days. Sometimes without even realizing it, we're adding struggle to our own lives, layering in complexity, saying yes when we should say no, or ignoring our own needs.

And the good news is if we added it, we get to take it away, but we have to notice it first. [00:07:00] One of the most powerful ways to make sure your struggle isn't wasted is to process it. Talk about it, write it down, share it with other makers. Right? When we speak our struggles out loud, they lose the sting a little bit.

They stop being shameful. They stop making us feel lonely, and they start becoming lessons and part of the process. That's why community matters so much. That's why mentorship matter. That's why I believe so strongly in having spaces, whether it's a course, a coaching circle, or just a trusted friend where you can be honest about the hard stuff.

Because processing is learning, naming is discovery, and when we do that, we stop wasting struggle and we start harvesting it, making it into something new. The truth is we will struggle. It's not optional. So I wanna leave you with this. Think about one area of your life [00:08:00] or your work where you are struggling right now.

And instead of asking why me, or when will this end, try asking, what's the lesson here? What is this struggle trying to give me or teach me? Because struggle is not just pain, though it is painful. It's the forge. It's the fire that tempers us. It's the birthplace of innovation, of resilience, and of depth.

Failure is not the end. Struggle is not the end. They are the very things that shape us into stronger artists, wiser makers, and more grounded human being. Before I wrap today, I wanna share something with you. I have decided after this group of amazing makers. That I'm gonna run transform one more time this year, starting the end of September.

I'm seeing the way that this course is changing the lives of my students, and I am so thrilled and so honored to be in [00:09:00] this position and to watch it hit home the way that I had hoped. It's for every stage and every age. I'll share some testimonials and student stories soon as they start coming in.

This group was life changing. Now. If you're not already getting my emails, make sure you're on the list, I really believe in this course. I poured my heart and soul into it. I'm so excited to share it and help me spread the word, if you would.

So if you're not already getting my emails, make sure you're on the list courtneygrayarts.com so you don't miss out on the announcement. When I launch again, I'll also be teaching a few free master classes this fall, and you'll find those in the same place.

So if this message is resonating and you wanna keep walking this path with me, that's where you can plug in courtneygrayarts.com. Oh, and I have been, if you can't tell, this is episode 42. I have been a writing machine since about October last [00:10:00] year.

I decided to go ahead and add a blog as well, so you can check that out in the same place. It's personal and professional, let me know what you think. Don't forget, here's your power phrase for this week. Struggle is the forge where strength and innovation are born.

Ride the waves, my friend. You've got this. Trust yourself. Trust the process. Onward and upward. I'll see you next week. 

Thanks for listening to The Jeweler's View. If today's episode gave you something to think about, consider sending it to a friend or share it on social and tag me at Courtney Gray Arts. You'll find tools, coaching resources, and the transform course@courtneygrayarts.com. And if no one's told you this lately, remember you're not behind.

You're becoming exactly the kind of maker your business needs and that kind of depth. It takes time. [00:11:00] I'll be back next week, same time, same tough love, onward and upward. I.