#4: My Struggles with Procrastination: Adopting the “Just Begin” Mentality.

In this episode of 'The Jeweler's View', Courtney Gray delves into her personal struggles with procrastination and shares how adopting a 'Just Begin' mentality has impacted her life and career. Gray, who has over 25 years of experience in the jewelry industry and has run one of the elite schools in the country, opens up about the challenges she faced in her twenties, including depression and self-doubt, and how she overcame them by focusing on small, consistent actions rather than striving for perfection. Throughout the episode, she emphasizes the importance of trusting the process, letting go of excuses, and pushing forward despite fear and setbacks. Gray also introduces her listeners to practical steps for building momentum in their creative endeavors, and offers a free workbook available on her website that covers courage, clarity, and customer engagement. This raw and insightful episode aims to inspire listeners to take actionable steps towards their goals, encouraging them to celebrate their progress and maintain a growth mindset even in the face of adversity.

Be sure to follow The Jeweler’s View so you never miss an episode! I’d love it if you could leave a rating and review on the main show page, this helps the podcast reach more amazing listeners like you. 💎 Have thoughts to share or just want to say hi? Reach out anytime! I’m so grateful to have you on this journey with me.

– Courtney
Helping Jewelry Creatives access the knowledge, resources, and mindset they

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Transcript

Episode 4: My Struggles with Procrastination – Adopting the “Just Begin” Mentality.

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Jeweler's View. I'm Courtney Gray, and after 25 years in the jewelry industry, 15 of those running one of the most elite schools in the country, and working with masters and aspiring makers from across the globe, I've experienced the highs, the lows, and everything in between. I've consulted for organizations both large and small, And I work one on one with makers who are building their own creative businesses.

In this podcast, I'm here to help you do the same. Whether you're just starting out, maybe you're dusting off the bench after a year or so, or looking to elevate your craft to the next level, we'll explore topics that build confidence, tackle challenges, and help you achieve your goals. What's holding you back?

Let's dive in together.

Hello there. Welcome back to the Jeweler's View. It's so nice to be with [00:01:00] you today. I'm gonna get a little vulnerable today. I know I've been sharing a lot about at least a little about my history and how I have come to where I am today, running a school here in Austin, Texas. Working with companies to help them get creative and find new ways to reach out to their customer.

And I'm here with you today. I wanted to share some struggles that I've been through. this is real. It is not easy to get started. It is just one of those things. I'm learning how to rip the band aid a little easier, but adopting that just begin mentality has taken a while.

It's taken years. Learning how to take one small action at a time. So this is the topic today. I wanted to share with you some of my own struggles with procrastination getting into adopting that just begin mentality a little bit more, practicing it every day. So it [00:02:00] becomes consistent and becomes one of those tools in your toolbox.

You just pull it out. You know how to use it. It's no big deal, not getting overwhelmed with that lack of initiation or engagement that can come when you're trying to get something started that may feel big or overwhelming. So I'm hoping that by joining me today, you're going to gain some practical steps to help you begin your creative journey or dig deeper or reach that next level and set some higher goals for yourself.

With the knowledge that you're badass and you can achieve anything, even when it's overwhelming, scary, vulnerable, all those things. I did put together a freebie for you guys. If you haven't been to my website lately, go to CourtneyGrayArts. com and Hit the free button in the toolbar and you can download a seven page workbook I just put together on this very topic and a lot of the topics I [00:03:00] like to talk about.

Courage, clarity, and customers. There's a free workbook. You can print it. I suggest just doing it digitally, save the ink, save the paper, save the trees, but however it works for you grab it. It's free for you just for signing up for my email list and that way I can stay in touch with you with All the cool things I'm working on and stepping into in this new chapter of my career in life.

So let's start from my twenties. Let's just step back here. My twenties were freaking awful. Honestly, a lot of good things happened. I had my first child in my twenties. He's 18 now. I'm so proud of him. I met my husband in my twenties.

Wait a second. Now, as I reflect, a lot of cool crap happened in my twenties, but there was this overwhelming feeling, even while I was going through all the good stuff, of feeling like a fish out of water. Like I was flopping around trying [00:04:00] to figure out what I was meant to do, how I was meant to serve and really struggling honestly, it was, it caused a lot of really big issues for me, depression, severe moments of self doubt and frustration.

I think those who saw me from the outside probably didn't see this, including my husband, including my closest friends. They kind of saw me as this motivated, creative person who, had her own business and I did start my business at 24 years old, but I still, there was something I knew I was meant to be doing that just wasn't clear yet.

And it caused a lot of debilitating situations. Moments of self doubt frustration depression like I mentioned so I had to dig deep I started doing work with different healers and different Therapists and eventually started learning oh my goodness. I'm in this self defeating Habit where I'm blocking myself.

It's almost like I like to [00:05:00] describe as pushing too hard. It's like I was pushing so hard trying to figure out what is this next thing? What's the service that I'm meant to provide? Where is it? When's it going to show up already? When's it going to happen already?

So I was definitely blocking that progress and adding to my stress level. Maybe you can relate to this. Feeling disappointed when my flow got interrupted. If something didn't happen, fast enough. I'm doing all this work, right? Why isn't it working?

What am I missing? What's the missing link here? What do I need to do more of? We can talk to ourselves in all kinds of ways and set really high expectations for ourselves that maybe don't make a whole lot of sense or are pushing in the wrong direction. So the turning point for me was really just trusting the process, letting it go a little bit.

My best friend Rita, she's reminding me of this just begin mentality. And that's as simple as it sounds. [00:06:00] Just begin. And if you've already begun, then trust the freaking process. Trust that it's going to take the time that it takes.

That you're doing everything right. Even the wrong stuff is right. Even the mistakes, the setbacks, they're all part of that process. Beginning to learn how to trust this is. Big. It's really big and it's like deprogramming our brains because we're pretty tough on ourselves sometimes, right?

We can really pick on ourselves if things don't go perfectly the first time, if we don't, accomplish XYZ in a certain way, or it doesn't come out just right, or it's not perfect. What do we do? , now, after all these years. And hearing my best friend, Rita Marie Ross, who's a sculptor, she's a super wise woman.

I'm so lucky to have her in my life. She tends to repeat things, which I love because it helps get it into my body, my brain and eventually things sink in. Sometimes we have to [00:07:00] hear them. A lot of different ways. And I'm going to repeat some stuff on this podcast, but maybe that's a good thing, maybe hearing it a few times is what it takes.

What do they say about kids? It takes 76 times for something to actually. Resonate and sink in it may not be that different for us adults so now in my 40s I realizing how much I can accomplish and then I can accomplish just as much as I was When I first started the school, by the way that happened around 27 28 I finally clicked and I figured it out after a lot of moaning and groaning and One child born, I think some things, just downloaded and finally it lasts.

But man, I could not push that quick enough when I was in that space, in that limbo space. The space where you're like, what is it? I know it's right here. It's not tangible. What can I do to hurry this along or to get more [00:08:00] clarity? So here I am in my 40s. I've been through some stuff and I've realized how much more I can accomplish with less time.

And with so much less stress on my body, my mind, my emotional state. This is something I literally, I have to wake up every day and practice and catch myself as I start this podcast, as I start these new online courses I'm building for you to dive in and really build your business and your career and your mindset to work in your favor and start seeing some true results.

This is vulnerable. And scary as hell, but guess what? Do it anyway, even though it's scary, right? We still got to do it. Nothing worthwhile is going to happen without fear or without vulnerability or some failures in between or mistakes, learning lessons. However you want to frame that. I don't like the word failure.

Is there failure? [00:09:00] Are we just going through the process and trusting? That this is part of the learning journey. But yes, vulnerable and scary as hell, but do it anyway. , I was headed to Europe in my twenties, early twenties.

 I was ready to get on an airplane ready to go to Germany. My first overseas experience on my own was so nervous. I had so many butterflies. 

It was tough. There were bouts of just, I was crying. It was just really scary. I was really terrified. My mom said to me, and I'll never forget. She has some wise words, she said, it's okay to be afraid of the airplane, but you've got to get on it anyway. I love this, and I use this with my kids it's okay to be scared.

It's part of it. Some say that fear and that kind of butterfly feeling is absolutely part of the growth, part of the process. And without it, we may or may not be as prepared as we could be. I do this before I get on stage too. I'm like, okay, there's those butterflies. I [00:10:00] feel it every time I've been doing this for 12 years, get up and sing my heart out in front of strangers and share words.

Same here in the podcast, right? Very vulnerable, very real, you just push through that part and you say, okay, good thing that's there because it's part of my preparation. It's getting me on alert. It's waking up my body in a way that it's going to make sure I'm ready. fear is part of the process. So how do we trust this process and how do we let go of perfection? Here's the P word. There's two P words, right? Process and perfection. So what does it mean to trust this process?

Back when we were at the school and Mr. Tim McCray, the author of complete metal Smith, everybody has that book on their shelf. And if you don't, you'd probably need it. Especially if you're just getting started. It's got great diagrams. And explanations of every single tool, that you could imagine, [00:11:00] and it is the most concise handbook I think that you can have.

So anyway, the complete metalsmith author, Tim McCrite finally talked him into coming and doing. Some presentations at the school about the toolbox initiative and teach a course on, knife making with us, but one of the lines I remember hanging out around the fire pit with Tim and a couple other teachers from the school and he mentioned a line, this one line that has stuck with a few of us actually, who got to witness it, trust the process.

Now he was describing. A process of, a technique like going through and having to file and having to do all these steps to get to the end goal. But I love that. It applies to so many. Things in life and career that we can tend to forget. We can tend to lose track of like, Oh yeah, this is a process.

This is where growth happens naturally. I don't really need to control every [00:12:00] single detail, even the setbacks, even the mistakes. There's always a learning inside. Sometimes it's hard to identify. And sometimes it's. Really upsetting. But in hindsight, we can always look back and say, okay, now I've been through that this way.

I'm going to do it this way this time. How do we get there without some of those mistakes? So Remind yourself, just make it a little mantra. Trust. The process, Tim McRae says.

Trust the process. So what's the difference between perfection and progress? Aiming for can actually slow the progress. Instead consistent action, however small can really build momentum. So just taking these little steps, and I know I repeat this one again and again, but it is so important to slow the roll, slow down a little Really look at, okay what's first reverse engineer it.

Then get to that end goal by [00:13:00] working in this way a little slower, sometimes it's good instead of pushing too hard perfectionism. unachievable. It doesn't exist. And so this idea of it's going to be perfect. And if it's not perfect, I'm not putting it out there, then you're going to sit right where you are I'm not saying put out bad work, do the best that you can. Let it go and move. forward. So you can continue to learn, continue to add work to your collection and continue on to the next level, the onward and upward .

Let's make progress instead of desiring perfection. Let's just desire progress. I hope that resonates with you. There's this big dream, right? We had this big vision, maybe that it's a company with multiple employees and you're producing all this fantastic work that is making people feel so good and you're seeing all this revenue and income come in with ease and joy continuing with that [00:14:00] momentum. So guess what? You're already inside of this. You're inside the process. You're inside of your dream. If you're listening to this right now, you're already there.

You're already inside. This is a piece of it. So really honoring and being grateful for each step in the process has helped me a heck of a lot to slow down. appreciate and that the gratitude of every perceived failure, mistake that I have made, everybody who's come into my life, whether good or bad, everything that I reached for and didn't get, or I did get, all of it is part of the process.

So you're inside your dream. Don't forget, keep moving forward, go as slow as you need to. Things are happening the only way that they can.

We don't really see the process or the progress until we're in hindsight. So we're at the end of a project. Oh, then you can look back and [00:15:00] see, wow. Look what I did here. Look what I learned. Look what I messed up. Look what I did again. And it was even better and faster. So we don't really get to have those aha moments sometimes until the end of a piece of work or end of a task.

So hang on. Even through the tough spots my friend Rita says the skinny spot. I'm in the skinny spot. There's that spot where you're like, I don't think I should keep going. I want to quit. I'm no good at this. Pushing past that moment and it is a moment, it's only a moment, might last a day, might last 20 minutes, might last two, but there's always the moment after where things actually start to come to life.

 Oh, there it is. Then you can see it. So another common barrier that I had to, to starting new things is excuses. And there's a lot of them. We can come up with so many excuses that can really [00:16:00] hold you back. I don't have time for that. I don't have the money. I don't have the right tool yet.

This is a big one. And I'm sorry, tool companies, I love you and I'm here to support you, but we do not need every tool under the rainbow before we can begin. In fact, one of the things I want to mention, is that you don't really know what tools you need.

Until you start working of course There's essential things like, you got to have a file and a saw and a hammer in your hands but you don't need the rolling mill yet. We don't need it until we absolutely come to that place in the road where you're like, okay I'm doing a lot of melting material down, rolling it out, repurposing it.

I need a rolling mill. It makes sense now in my process. So trust that process too. You don't need every tool in the toolbox. Start with what you have. Don't let it be an excuse. And don't let it be a distraction as we talked about last week. Just go for it. And as you begin to work, you're going to discover Oh, I really need this tool.

I [00:17:00] see the efficiency it's going to bring to my process. It makes sense to purchase it. It makes sense to set it up and take time out of my make time or business development time 

I know we love tools. But, just go slow. Work with what you have and get fancy later. Back on to some of those excuses and we talked about comparisons in episode 2 of this podcast If you want to go back and listen later, that can be a total excuse. I'm not good enough yet I don't have the following that they have I don't have the presentation or the photography skills There's so many things start where you're at.

It's totally okay Where you're at is where you're meant to be, but just keep showing up. Don't quit and don't let these excuses hold you down. I struggle with this all the time. Just go hit record and start talking, Courtney. Just do it. I have to talk myself into it. And so I have to reframe it as progress, 

 one of the quotes that I read recently really resonated with [00:18:00] me. How to reframe these excuses as mental blocks was Lao Tzu's quote. He said, saying, I don't have time is the same as saying, I don't want to. Even with all the things we've got going on somewhere, there is time.

There is absolutely time. There's always space. There's always time. So excuses are just blocks. We have the power to break them down and it just takes practice I get it.

We all have lives outside of our creative life. Sometimes life really does just take over. Somehow we keep going. Somehow we get up again and we keep moving forward. And it's even more reason, with all of the things happening around us all the time, to block out that time for your work, your creativity, and your personal care, top of all, right?

So how do we release that time? these excuses with just a couple small steps just to get started. This is a practice. Again, it's not going to happen overnight. It's going to take consistency and showing up, [00:19:00] right? And doing it again and again repeating until it sinks in and starts to become second nature.

One of the things I'm trying to do is just act now. I'm not going to wait for ideal conditions. We can't wait for ideal conditions. Guess what? They're never going to be ideal. You may have said things to yourself like, okay, when the kids are grown up and they move out, I'll begin my creative sprint or that'll be my season.

 Or when I quit my job, because that's got to come first. And yeah, we need income. I'm not saying that's not a definite factor or when my spouse retires or after I get there. that rolling press or, whatever it is, the fancy tool that does all of the things that I think are going to solve everything in my life and make working so much more attractive, so instead let's get some momentum going and Trust me, the rest is going to fall into place. I've talked a little bit about starting creative side. I had a one year old and I had no time. I had [00:20:00] one hour a day and guess what? We did it. We built a school. It took a little longer and that's okay, but it was doable.

So wherever you can get that momentum going and let the rest start falling into place. From momentum. Clarity will come.

I wanted to share How I've had to push past really big life challenges, Here's the cool part if I didn't Have all those experiences. I wouldn't be right here doing this work with you.

I wouldn't be coaching or mentoring people or consulting with these companies. If I hadn't gone through everything that I've gone through up until now. I have to be grateful for it. We have to find a gratitude there because even though it was hard as hell and there were times where I did not think I would get up, would not get to keep moving forward, I had thoughts of being completely finished.

 They're all part of my fuel. It's all part of your fuel. Trust the process, even the setbacks.

I just met with a [00:21:00] new friend and jewelry maker. Who's about two years in Michelle and Michelle just had, 

 Ironically, last weekend, before we met, she went to a show in Dallas, Texas. She was super excited. And her car got broken into and all of her jewelry two or three boxes of her rings and things got stolen, like her whole half of her inventory.

So she couldn't do the show. She had to turn around. She was too upset. I would feel upset. It's so violating when somebody steals from you. I totally get that. She had to cancel the show, came home and I ended up on the phone with her. I think it was like two days later or something. And I was like, how are you so cheerful?

And she was hanging in there, but she goes, honestly, I'm pretty defeated right now. Maybe this is a sign. Maybe this means I shouldn't move forward or that I don't belong here, I don't belong in this industry. And by the end of the conversation, it was interesting because [00:22:00] she did this like full 

180, where she had decided, you know what, I really wanted to make those rings differently. Anyway, and so here's your opportunity. Guess what? It's going to be faster the second time. Sit down and do the work again and just keep moving forward. That those are really tough setbacks.

It can really defeat you. It can make you think, okay, I'm not, I'm just not supposed to be doing this. It's not working. None of this is working. Sleep on it. That's my advice is like, just hit pause. Okay. Just go do something to nurture yourself. Take a nap, take a rest, take a bath, take a walk, and reset a little bit, and then see it from fresh eyes.

Because these things can absolutely be positive or they could be negative. And we have a little small window where we get to choose which one. And we guess what we get to choose. Is this a good thing? Is this a bad thing? Because our perception, nobody gets to form that except for us. In 2019, I sold CreativeSide.

[00:23:00] CreativeSide was my baby, . It was my third baby. My fourth, I have a little dog now too, and I love him but creative side was absolutely something I poured my soul into. I put blood, sweat, and tears into this place with a lot of support from the community

so before I sold the school and made this, it was a really difficult decision to do this. I was flopping around again, like a fish out of water. I know I like to use that analogy, but that's what it feels like. So I sat down and I looked at the options and I was approached to sell.

And I did, but before this, in 2018, 

 of a sudden the smoke alarm goes off in our house. My kids are home with me. My husband was home. He was plumbing the toilet. The short version of this was the upstairs was on fire. I went inside. I smelled something funny. I looked up the stairs and realized that the entire top floor of our home, our bedrooms and the attic were completely ablaze.

There was gigantic flame [00:24:00] shooting down the stairwell. I rushed the kids out of the house. We all drove down the street and watched a giant hole opened up in the roof where they were trying to put this fire out.

So the upstairs was totaled, everything gone, wardrobes, everything. So about a year later we had rebuilt. My husband's a contractor. Thank goodness. He's got a brilliant eye, very big vision when it comes to design and, construction and what's possible. I see small things. He sees big things.

So we're lucky. We make a great team. And we just kept laughing through this whole experience. It was like, okay, everything's gone. What do we do? We start over, right? We get up, we move forward. So we had one year, we got to a temporary home, we moved the kids there,

everybody was so amazing. The community showed up like champions and We were so blessed. We didn't want for anything. We didn't really feel like we lost anything. It was strange because of that support system. So My [00:25:00] point to this again is what do you do? Okay, it's gone. Throw it all in a dumpster and start over.

So we just started again. A lot of things happened after that. My husband had a stroke, like literally the month we moved back into the home, rebuilt this beautiful house, knew everything, new plumbing. All of the work, of course, he was very hands on and unfortunately suffered a pretty severe stroke at the end of that.

So guess what? That was October, February, the news came that COVID was coming. And I remember sitting with my neighbor, Jordan, who is a paramedic and she actually is a trainer in the paramedics here in Austin. She was training everybody on how to deal with COVID and how to protect themselves, How to disinfect everything after someone was in the ambulance, a whole different protocol.

 You could tell she was stressed. She was going on, major fuel and really hyped up. And she goes, Courtney, this is [00:26:00] coming. You're going to have to close your business. you're a non essential and this is what's happening. 

 And unfortunately, within the next two days, I had to close the school, let everybody go home try to explain something that was a little premature. Didn't go very well. Nobody understood. People were really upset with me. So here I'm watching this. baby of creative side just crumble.

 Overnight, it was unbelievable. It has been very challenging, probably one of the most challenging things I've ever faced. But then you add on the fire and the stroke and the COVID, it's okay.

We've got to just keep going and just start over and begin again. Anyway, at the end of all this, I hosted the podcast for Rio Grande. For the love of jewelers, I got to produce and host the first four seasons. And I was able to do everything from home.

There was a lot of really great things about this shift that came.

 I love the advice that one of my old welding teachers Bonnie 

she was a good ol gal, super [00:27:00] sweet, Texas lady. You can only imagine, she told me, just get your butt in the studio. The rest will start to fall into place. She goes, I don't care if you draw or weld or clean the torch that day, just get in there and begin.

Just get in there. Just get started. There's like a domino effect that can happen after you just start showing up differently. And even a short time daily in the studio can trigger that motivation, can trigger that domino effect and lead to larger accomplishments. I think momentum is underrated.

How do we get to momentum? by showing up and doing it every day. Small actions lead to these bigger results. I believe this completely. And I have to remind myself inside the process. All right, this is a small step. I didn't get as much done today as I'd like.

I'm going to keep moving though. Just keep moving. I'm going to create that momentum.

One thing I wanted to share with you as another little tip, I know I'm talking a lot about my life and my [00:28:00] challenges. We all have events. There's different journeys and some are harder, some are easier, but it's all relative.

It's all how we see it, how we come out of it, how we choose to look at it. Started looking at the five second rule with Mel Robin she teaches a really practical way to break any bad habit and how to interrupt self doubt and negative self talk. And push yourself to take the actions that will change your life.

 instead of waiting, or over contemplating, over thinking things, over researching. I'm just going to get up and move. She does this thing where 

count from five to one. And then get up and do the work. 

 The science backing is pretty interesting. It's , retrains your brain to get up and move and to make those moves. What I want for you to think about this week is a challenge I want to leave you with.

I want you to try committing to one small action each day that supports your creative [00:29:00] goals. Even if it's 10 minutes, even if it's 30 minutes, even if you can get an hour, excellent. If you can get longer and this is your full time, go for it, but just one small action each day. I want you to think about what that could look like.

Keep it simple. The whole idea here is to build momentum, right? And to start building better habits around our creative practice and our business goals. So what's one small thing? that you can come up with, that you could do each day, that's going to support those goals that you have, the bigger picture goals.

Think small, keep it small, add and get fancy later. Okay, so this week we're going to do that. We're going to spend 30 minutes, maybe it's 30 minutes in the studio daily, whatever task you're setting up or whatever challenge you're setting up for yourself. Write it down. Let's do it. Let's try to do it every day this week.

 task, however small, maybe it's organizing your tools, this section of my studio. Maybe it's sitting down to sketch, putting pencil to paper. Maybe it's finishing a batch of work [00:30:00] that's been sitting there staring at you for a while. It may be holding you back from moving forward.

So let's clear some energy. Let's use this for some clarity as well. Maybe it's working on the business stuff.. I know, we all love it or hate it. It's, got to happen. It's 50 percent of it. You got to do the work. You got to put yourself out there. So maybe it's that, putting yourself out there in a new way.

And here's the thing too, I don't want you to just do this, I want you to track it and I want you to reflect on your progress every week and track those small wins. Write them down, celebrate them, do the happy dance, share it with a friend, share it with me on social, I'd love to hear about it at Courtney Gray Arts on Instagram or Facebook or email me hi at CourtneyGrayArts.

com. And celebrate you guys, let's celebrate together, progress over perfection.  Each small step and each win is an essential part of the journey, an essential part of the process, even the [00:31:00] setbacks. Okay, the big takeaways today, starting small to build the habit, build the momentum, trusting the process.

We're inside of the dream, right? Staying consistent daily with just little things, just start small and adding that one thing that you can stay consistent with every day, reach for progress over perfection. And remember the journey unfolds one small step at a time. So get in the studio, create something and let everything else fall into place.

Again, reach out to me on social at Courtney gray arts, and let me know how it's going for you and definitely share this with friends, guys, if it's helpful for you, it's helpful for others. And I really would appreciate it.

I want you to. Go to my website and check out the new freebie that I just loaded for you called courage clarity and customers And join me next week.

I'll be here for episode five, Facing [00:32:00] and Reconciling Fear or Rejection and Bad Reviews. , so we're going to talk about, we're going to dig into that next week. So join me there.

Until then, I want you to remember what a badass you are. And thank you for being with me today. Onward and upward. [00:33:00]