#2: Free Yourself from Comparison: Unleash Your Creative Potential

In this episode of the Jeweler's View, host Courtney Gray shares insights from her 25-year journey in the jewelry industry. She discusses how comparing yourself to others can hinder your growth and offers practical tips to stay focused on your own path. Key takeaways include setting timers for social media, prioritizing creation time, practicing positive self-talk, and celebrating small wins. This episode encourages listeners to embrace their unique journey and boost their creative confidence.

Be sure to follow The Jeweler’s View so you never miss an episode! I’d love it if you could leave a rating and review on the main show page, this helps the podcast reach more amazing listeners like you. 💎 Have thoughts to share or just want to say hi? Reach out anytime! I’m so grateful to have you on this journey with me.

– Courtney
Helping Jewelry Creatives access the knowledge, resources, and mindset they

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Transcript

Episode 2: Free Yourself from Comparison: Unleash Your Creative Potential

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Jeweler's View. I'm Courtney Gray, and after 25 years in the jewelry industry, 15 of those running one of the most elite schools in the country, and working with masters and aspiring makers from across the globe, I've experienced the highs, the lows, and everything in between. I've consulted for organizations both large and small, And I work one on one with makers who are building their own creative businesses.

In this podcast, I'm here to help you do the same. Whether you're just starting out, maybe you're dusting off the bench after a year or so, or looking to elevate your craft to the next level, we'll explore topics that build confidence, tackle challenges, and help you achieve your goals. So, what's holding you back?

Let's dive in together.

Hey, welcome back to the Jeweler's View. 

This is Courtney Gray joining you again. Thanks for [00:01:00] taking the time out in your day to come and sit with me or work with me, whatever you're doing. If you're at the bench, 

so glad you're here. Today I want to talk to you about comparing yourself to others and how this might be 

holding you back from fully embracing your own voice 

And moving forward in your business in general and in your life.

so yesterday I sat down, had scheduled time to do this podcast . And I. stupidly, not stupidly, just poor planning on my part, worked for about four or 

five hours and then went in to record and I was drained. I was just physically, mentally done. I sat down, I did the first paragraph, I literally turned it off.

and went into my bedroom, which is right next door from my studio, ironically, and I crawled in bed, and I ate chocolate, and I fell asleep. Anyway, not sure how that compares to my episode today on comparison, but I wanted to tell you that all of us, [00:02:00] I think, have these moments of just, I gotta walk away.

Can't do it. Not gonna do it right now. Not gonna come out well. Let me take a beat. Here I am today. New day. Did my workout and I've got my veggie smoothie with me and I'm feeling good and I want to talk to you about this kind of a big topic, , obviously, with social media, we've got all this amazing, stuff that people are doing and their pieces and their work and it's really hard not to look closely at it and then turn it on ourselves and start examining Where we're at and where we'd like to be.

And I think there's two ways. There's a few ways to go about this Just like anything I think we can look at this as healthy or unhealthy And maybe it's all about how we frame it and set up our intent around it. last week, if you joined me, we talked about overcoming fear, finding courage, getting out of bed, putting the chocolate away and just hitting record.

, [00:03:00] today let's talk about some actionable tips that we can take on stopping this comparison trap and focusing on our own work. So we can grow, we can move forward. And, , gain what we're probably looking at and wishing we already had. when I started my school, 

 I ended up in this position of people thinking I was this really big expert and, I guess at the end of the day, twenty five years in the business I am.

But There's a lot I don't know, and there's a lot of other people who are better at a lot of things than I am. but I don't know, people would put me on this pedestal and thinking she must have it all, she must know it all, she has this great school, it's very prestigious, people are coming from all over, and I tell you what, don't put people on a Pedestal if you can help it. They're gonna fall off. it's just how it works. I think we can absolutely idealize others and think, they've just got it all together and I 

[00:04:00] don't. so be careful with this one, I think it can really stifle our creativity, it can stifle our growth in ways that can be very detrimental to our career, to our mental health.

Today we talk a little bit about setting some of those things aside or putting them in check, maybe is a better way to put it. 

One thing you got to realize is everybody's on their own path. Wherever you are right now Is where you're meant to be and I think you know the best things we can do for ourselves and our growth is to just Keep moving forward And of course, I ran a school.

I found myself researching other schools. I was looking at a new approach I was looking at these, back in the day when revere academy and thinking how do I do that? How do I build this and at the end of the day I had to realize I don't have the resources to do all of that. I don't know if that's 

where the fate of the school lies We did the best that we could we added as many things as we could but at the end of the day You just got to do you [00:05:00] and you got to work with what you've got Otherwise, man, you can torture yourself.

Interestingly enough like after A few years in and we started getting a little more recognizable in the country and around the world really 

New schools started popping up around the country. It was so exciting to see 

they started looking at us and a few owners would come into the school They're traveled to Austin pop in and ask if they could meet with me and ask questions about what we were doing and how we were putting together our curriculum and our programs and how do you do all of this and 

the end of the day, I guess we're all doing the best that we can and that I think that's healthy.

I think there's certain ways that we can use comparison 

to find our next step or to get ideas to see how other people are doing things. There's so many ways to do things, it could be done in a very healthy way. 

So let's talk a little bit about that inspiration versus negative comparison.

I [00:06:00] think there's healthy inspiration and harmful comparison, 

and if we wanna distinguish between those two, there's one way is feeling inspired by others. I think that can be really good. We need that push. We need to see how far people have come. potentially see how far we could come if we stick with it.

Some of the more seasoned makers or people who've been in the craft for longer or tackled a certain technique their whole life and , that's really their strength. 

I think that's okay. Absolutely. With social media, you how are we not going to look at other people?

I think we just need to be careful how we're approaching it. Inspiration can energize you, but if we start falling into that comparison trap, it can demoralize us and make us feel less than make us feel 

jealousy or inadequacy, really negative emotions that I think can, 

Keep us rooted in a place of self judgment, which as we know, that is the killer of [00:07:00] creativity.

When you're comparing your work to someone else's. You're measuring your own success, your skills, your progress against theirs, and sometimes that can be done really unfairly. This can cause us to, fall again into discouragement and question your own value as a creator, as a jeweler, as a maker.

or a mover shaker, as I like to say. We start hearing our, that little voice like, pay attention to this little voice. What's it saying to you? Their work is so much better than mine. I'll never be as skilled or successful. Their business, how do they have 10 employees? How do they do this?

How do they do that? The how to is okay, but the, I'm not ever going to be able to do that or have the success that they do, again, we don't want to get trapped in that. Instead, I try and I'm trying to teach my my coaching clients and students, 

let's draw from our inspiration. 

How do we let it [00:08:00] motivate us and create energy? from looking at someone else's work without diminishing our own. It can be a very constructive process that sparks new ideas and creativity, or even, helps you nail down what's the next technique I need to try so that I can get there. I can add some color. I could, set. more stones on this area or whatever you're envisioning, I think we're absolutely going to be looking that up and checking out what other people are doing, what some of the masters are doing in the craft.

but you've got a value, you've got to, keep in check the value of your own unique path and your process. And again, I'm going to say this a few times, where you're at now is where you're meant to be. You may not have started as early. It may be later in life for you. That's okay. All we have is what we have. We've got to work with that. And I think, if we keep moving forward, really pay attention to those inner thoughts that we let roll around our 

[00:09:00] head. And, that voice can be loud and it can be so annoying and it can pop in at the worst times. Like yesterday for me, needed to go take a nap and eat some chocolate.

And that's okay. It's alright, somebody else might have had more energy in that time frame or been able to just come and knock this out of the park, but no, we've got to just do the best that we can, I think, and keep moving forward. 

 I love this, the inspiration is, it's about drawing motivation and creative energy from someone else's work without diminishing your own.

So I want you guys to really sit with that, be careful what and how long you're looking at things. 

Remember, there's no two journeys that are alike. Comparing ourselves to others paths can lead to self doubt and distraction from our goals, essentially. It could pull you right off the path that you're on, if we're not careful.

I can't tell you guys how many times I've had a client, who found themselves spending so much time on [00:10:00] social media thinking, Got to post every day. I've got to do this. Absolutely. got to stay in touch with our audience. I'm trying to do this too without it becoming a huge toe on my life and my joy.

But, Scheduling in all these things that we are going to use for later or reference. I think that can be really helpful, but not when your inventory for next week's show isn't done or that project, that commission that you just took on. Oh, that, that's due in a couple weeks.

 Social media Oh my gosh, like what are we supposed to do with this? It is such an addiction and such a distraction setting aside time for it is good.

It's absolutely, it's a tool for business, but when we start to fall in these traps we've got to be careful, catch ourselves, pull ourselves out, set up different systems for ourself. 

So let's talk about a couple of practical tools we can use to stop comparing ourselves to others. 

With detriment, let's say that . It's been taught to me is just get [00:11:00] curious about this and I'm telling you guys, this podcast is going to be so freaking cathartic for me because I'm having to look at myself and how I work and then come and talk to you about it and that insight, whoa, it can be really heavy, .

I just invite you to stay curious without judgment without judging yourself. It's all right. You're where you need to be It's all good But let's look at it a little bit deeper this week and just start thinking about really zooming in on what those thoughts are. What's the intent behind?

The scrolling and the looking and the comparison potential comparison. I'm pretty sure we're all doing it That's why I wanted to talk about it today. 

I think it's pretty hard to be an artist unless you're in the middle of nowhere with no digital media. Nothing at your fingertips like we have in society here to not find yourself.

falling into some of these traps. So one way I [00:12:00] think is huge. And again, I'm finding myself doing this as limit your scrolling time, set a timer , if you want to look at stuff, that's great. Or we've got to touch base with our audience. Set a timer for 30 minutes.

30 minutes even sounds like a lot. Maybe it's 10 minutes. Maybe it's five. I'd say whatever you're doing, maybe knock 15, 20 minutes off of it if it's a high number of minutes that you're using it and really think about what you're looking at and when you're looking at others work or their accomplishments or, their achievements , that they're posting, again guys, don't forget, people only really post the good stuff usually, unless there's a big disaster going on.

And then, of course, we're going to, share about that. But just remember, I just want you to stay curious and check in with, okay, what are, what am I looking at here? Am I looking at work to gain inspiration, insight, technique, 

learn something new, [00:13:00] or am I picking on myself while I do it?

I think these longer sessions can , lead to unproductive comparison, so that's why I'm suggesting the timer, which I know is annoying, but man, when we put ourselves on a clock, it just does something different to our brain and our productivity. and our intent with our time. So again, be intentional with this research before you're scrolling through.

This is another one I just think we could try on before you're scrolling through Instagram, Facebook, wherever you're at. Ask yourself, why am I looking? Is it time for relaxation? Is this inspiration? Is it so I can scale or compare? what i'm doing to somebody else or is it simply procrastination?

And oh my gosh, we got to do a whole episode on that Because man I can put things off and i'm sure that we can all relate to that procrastination 

Be [00:14:00] clear about this 

Let's get a little clarity about what is the purpose? What's the intent? of the looking and the scrolling. And maybe at the end, after, if it is for research, reflect on what you've learned or taken away from it.

If it's work, great. Journal it or mentally note or. What was the key takeaway? Of this scrolling session, Oh man, that piece inspired me. How can I add color like that? 

I'm going to go, look at this course now or look at this person's techniques.

And,  There's two ways to look at it. That can be helpful. It can be educational. It could also lead you down a rabbit hole that pulls you completely away from. Your original goal of sitting down and working at the bench that day, you might spend the whole day on research or perceived research and again, have a hard time getting out of that rabbit hole.

I love the idea of making before you scroll. So , if you're going to do some research, [00:15:00] sit down at the bench first or organize your space and kind of get into the energy of creating from your own new clean slate of the day, rather than starting with this.

Looking at other people and what they've accomplished. Let's focus on you. Let's really make that a priority. think we'll be amazed with how much more we get done and how much our voice starts shining through in a different way. 

think these things are worth trying on. let's try them on together.

I'm totally down with these exercises. I hope you are too. And again, let's set some boundaries, , do the creation time first for yourself, where you focus entirely on your own work, free from distractions. And next week, we're going to talk about distractions in the studio. but do this before checking on other things. other makers work. Let's just keep those blinders on. 

I say this, be careful with this, but keep the blinders on. It's okay to admire [00:16:00] Others work and gain insight from that, from their techniques and outcomes they produce. But at the end of the day, you are right where you're meant to be.

If we can focus on ourselves and just do you, you're going to find a lot more productivity from your day. Shifting that focus. Let's shift our focus back to ourselves. Focus on your own voice. Try not to get caught up in what others are doing and instead focus on developing your own brand, your own craft and your own vision.

honestly did get asked a lot of times, like, how do you attribute your success of the school and. Okay. 

Wow, look what you've created and honestly, I don't even know I'm in this bubble And I've just been doing the work. I really had a hard time answering that question.

Sometimes I'm sure I would make something up and sound really smart, it was really a tricky one to answer. I'm just here doing me and doing what my students are [00:17:00] asking for and what my employees are bringing to the table. We're not really looking at a whole lot of other schools constantly.

We're just doing it the way that we think best. It needs to be done. And the way that our students are receiving well, because essentially when they're successful, we were successful. So the same goes for making. It's did you get, how do you get into this? How do you do that?

Those are valid questions, but the truth is, People get better by sitting down at the bench and working and practicing and melting crap and 

Making mistakes and picking yourself up and again like last week We talked about courage and taking the leap and trying new things But it's certainly not by negative self talk or Wishing we were where so and so is instead of where we're at Part of our process is where we're at right now and we have to go through that.

You can't go over it You can't go under it. You've got to go through it [00:18:00] I don't know if you guys ever read that children's book, but I love it. We're going on a bear hunt. We can't go over it. We can't go under it. We've got to go through it. Anyway, great book. 

So again, let's get back to focusing on yourself. Focusing on your own voice. Setting timers to make. Setting timers if you're going to research something. Just so we can get curious about how much. we are, doing each. If we're spending more time on social or research, even the internet, whatever you're looking at, then you are with your free time to create, think we have a, we've got something we need to address their, practice to positive self talk.

I just want to remind you to be kind to yourself. Self criticism can sneak in when we're comparing our work to others. And it's a sneaky one. Reframe these negative, this negative self talk with affirmations like, where I am is exactly where I'm meant to be.[00:19:00] 

I'm staying conscious of this, even with this podcast, I realize how easy it is to compare myself to others who might be doing something similar. But the truth is, I'm going to put the freaking blinders on and just. show up as me and Those who want to listen can and those who don't resonate they'll move on and that's fine 

Trying to practice this mindset. I think is really helpful. Just continue on your path Do you trust your intuition trust your gut, you know deep down what feels right what resonates with you. I think absolutely following and trusting that is essential. 

Remember to look at least weekly. I want you to look at how far you've come. 

Take just five minutes even or three minutes and acknowledge the wins that you've had this week.

What did you put together? , what did you Complete how far did you get? Maybe you had a setback and that was a learning [00:20:00] experience and How much did you gain from that learning experience so that the rest of your path is clear? And now you can move forward and know how to avoid those mistakes Even those can be a win.

It on how we decide to look at it I really want to encourage you throughout this show to, every episode is to celebrate the wins even the little ones Especially the little ones because the little ones add up they make huge shifts and huge change the more we can look at them, I think the more we're going to attract them to ourselves and the better more positive mindset we're going to put ourselves in to move forward with confidence, clarity in what we're doing, putting the comparisons aside, and creating really magical, wonderful work, whatever that looks like to you.

okay, that was all. Oh my goodness. So I, my smoothie and no chocolate, but maybe later, maybe I'll treat myself and celebrate the win of sitting down and [00:21:00] talking about this one. Which, 

 When I read the words that I'm putting together sometimes, or the outline that I'm Thinking about sharing with you. , I think this is going to be so cathartic I know we're all in the same boat here and hopefully, we can just ride the waves together a little bit 

So thanks for listening. 

I Do think and I just want to share one more. Let's reiterate 

Letting go of comparisons It's going to allow us to dive deeper in our own work.

 Let's just give ourselves permission to look away, to take a break from it. 

keep our minds set on our own. I remember one of the questions I've been interviewed a few times over my career and one of the hardest questions I had.

to answer. I came up a few times. I'm curious about this one. Was how does it feel to be a woman business owner? And God, I would just get frozen. I didn't know how to answer this. I don't think I ever compared myself to another sex, to another [00:22:00] gender, like that didn't really make sense to me to think of myself as a female entrepreneur.

Maybe this is part of why I did have some success with the school and have stayed in this career so long as had my blinders on. I didn't really look at men. as a different, I don't know, doing anything differently than I was doing, and really, I think from having that mindset, nobody really treated me like a, like a woman, and I'm doing quotes with my fingers right now or lesser than, and I don't know.

Anyway, just thought I'd share that with you guys. It's, 

I just never really did. Sunk into any kind of comparison there. , how does it feel? It feels great. so just be careful just watch the thoughts. Be careful, be conscious.

Be conscious of how you're looking at your, position what level you're at is exactly where you need to be. Your journey is your journey and being careful not to let the comparison pull you away from the progress that you're making. 

All right, so that's gonna [00:23:00] wrap it up I can't wait to join you again. I'm gonna keep trying to show up for you every week here on the Jewelers View.

if you think that somebody should hear this today, will you please do me a favor and share this episode or share the podcast with them? Of course, 

That means a lot to me More people we can reach, the better. So this week, what are we going to do? We're going to set a timer for inspiration time.

Inspiration, not comparison. Okay? Next time you're browsing for inspiration, try to limit it to 30 minutes or less, and you could break that up. Just try not to let it be a distraction. And when you're done with this scrolling time R& D, research and development, whatever you want to call it, I want you to reflect on what inspired you and 

How will this influence your own work? and then secondly, I want you to think about creating before you scroll. Commit to working on your craft for an hour at [00:24:00] least before diving in or letting yourself be pulled to social media or to some sort of research again, looking at other people's accomplishments and what they've done.

So in our faces, how do we avoid it? We have to discipline ourselves. Sorry, wah. Love that word discipline. It's a big one. Oh, another episode for you in the future. And thirdly, you guys don't forget Celebrate every single win. Little ones, big ones, 

I don't care, baby steps,  celebrate the wins. Write down three things that you accomplished. At least, I like to do this daily, you could do it at the end of your week. To create a habit around this, but write down three things that you accomplished.

I don't care if they're small or big. And just really reflect on that and celebrate where you're at. watch out for this, comparison trap that we can fall into. 

And don't forget, I want to hear from you. I wanna hear how you're doing, what your challenges [00:25:00] are, and I wanna hear your wins. You can reach out to me on Insta or Facebook at Courtney Gray Arts, and if you haven't yet, subscribe to my newsletter on Courtney Gray arts.com

 And while you're there, download this new guidebook that I just put together for you called Courage, Clarity, and Customers. There's some really good, insightful exercises in there you can do that are going to help keep moving you forward in a positive way in your business, in your jewelry making endeavor, wherever you're at.

So check that out and join me next week. 

We're going to talk about internal and external distractions, how we can make a little more space for our creative goals, and override these distractions so we can stay more focused. So definitely join me there same time next week.

 All right. Oh, hopefully today, I don't know, with my rambling, we were able to let go of a little comparison, allowing for more creation time and success in your [00:26:00] work, that is my goal for you.

Letting go of comparison, any negative comparison that doesn't benefit you. And again, just stay curious, You'll start to become more aware of the self talk. look at your own habits a little bit this week and, find ways that you can shift your focus back to your own voice, creating your own unique voice.

it's not going to be like anybody else's. There's a lot of makers and jewelers out there. There are a lot of really good ones. But your journey is your journey. Your touch on your work is yours. Let's focus on that instead of thinking I should be doing X, Y, Z, or looking at somebody else and thinking they're better than, 

Thank you for joining me and i'll talk to you soon onward and upward

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